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Read This If You Feel Guilty Relaxing…

Read This If You Feel Guilty Relaxing Hayley Gillard Ecotherapist

Self-care, self-love, self-compassion, wellbeing, spending time for yourself…

Whatever you want to call it, I want to talk about it!

Many of the women I work with through my one to one coaching or in my online programmes like Life Revolution or Ignite & Glow, begin with a belief.

They believe that for a variety of reasons they can’t practice wellbeing activities.


Therefore, they are stressed out, overwhelmed, unhappy and on the verge of burnout. They’re snappy, angry and totally discontent.

  • Some people say they don’t have time.  We are all born with the same 24 hours every single day. It’s up to you how you use it. Are you wasting time scrolling Facebook or watching trash tv? Can you multitask? Can you ditch some things off the to-do list to make more time? There’s lots of videos about relaxing when you have no time over on my Facebook page.  Go and check them out.
  • Some people say that it doesn’t work and it doesn’t help them relax – if this is you then I want you to simply rephrase this as doing something you enjoy instead. When you do something you enjoy you release endorphins, our feel good hormones, which will make you relax anyway!
  • Some people say they don’t deserve to relax which often indicates an experience (often from childhood) that they need to work through and overcome. I’ve worked with many people who have this block and they have gone on to live amazingly happy, relaxed and fulfilled lives.


And some people say they feel guilty if they take time out to relax.

If you’re in this camp, if you feel guilty when you relax (or perhaps you NEVER take time off for yourself because you believe you SHOULD be doing something for the kids/your partner/work instead) then this blog is for you.


I want to talk to you.


About 4 years ago, before I had really started to get to know the people who interacted on my Facebook page or attend my events, I would ask people in social media posts about what they were doing for me-time that week, or about how important it is to have me-time.

One, maybe two people would comment. I need to admit that back then I even asked friends to comment on my posts so they weren’t just left hanging in the ether!

What I came to realise was that people don’t like the words me-time.

Was it because it feels selfish to take me-time?

Was it because people feel guilty about spending time on “me” rather than doing the cooking, cleaning, working, etc.?

Or is it the whole concept of taking time out and the feeling that as women we “should” be doing something else?

For now, whether you call it me-time, relaxation or self-care it’s really really important that it starts to become part of your daily routine.

For those of you who feel guilty taking time out to relax, KEEP READING!  This is for you!

Self care is not selfish.

Self care is essential.


Here’s some reasons why:

  1. It makes you more energetic. If you have relaxed and taken time out, you replenish your energy. You become more alert and awake and better able to do the things you need to.
  2. You become more resilient. If you regularly relax, when you do have days that aren’t great (and we all have them) you are better able to deal with the stress and bounce back.
  3. It makes you a better friend/wife/colleague. It builds relationships. If you are stressed out, tired and irritable you are not the best ‘you’.  You won’t be the best ‘you’ and best able to help people when they need you.
  4. You stay in the game. A burnt out you is not a good you and not a productive you. It’s not selfish to take time for self-care because what good are you to anyone if you’re burnt out and poorly?!
  5. You look better. Honestly!  Positivity towards ourselves releases feel good hormones. They are great for our skin, muscle tone and physical health.

I could go on and on!

It’s not all bubble baths and painted nails either.

My challenge to you is to do ONE THING, ANYTHING, that brings you joy or helps you relax.

It can be listening to your favourite song, enjoying a posh coffee or eating your favourite lunch.

I don’t mind what it is, I just mind that you do it!  Tell me in the comments what you plan to do today!


For more tips like these, come on over to my Facebook page.


3 Responsesso far.

  1. Verla says:

    Love this post. Gives permission to relax. I am going to keep following your posts.

  2. Hannah-christina Hambleton says:

    Hi Hayley your blog is fantastic and it really helps people I am in the same boat myself I really want to try and relax with a glass of wine and a good book in the garden on sunny days like today but I always feel as though I should be doing everything else.i am a carer for three members of my family and I love them to bits and even though they tell me to relax and I do enough for them I feel guilty and I will try hard to conquer these feelingsxx

    • Hayley Gillard says:

      Thanks Hannah! I really appreciate you taking the time to leave this comment. You sound like one busy lady! I’m really glad you’re working on your feelings of guilt. I often tell the lovely ladies I work with to follow this:
      1. If you did take some time every day to relax how would it impact how you felt positively?
      2. If you felt all of those things (the answer to Q1) regularly, how would that impact on your relationships?
      3. If you had those relationships impacted then how happy would you be?
      There’s the incentive to do it!
      Let me know how you get on!
      Hayley xx

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