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I’m a Life Coach and I don’t want success!

I’m a Life Coach in Yorkshire and I don’t want to be successful.

Life Coach Yorkshire Success

Nope, I’m not having a bad week.

Nope, I’m not feeling sorry for myself.

Nope, my mind gremlins aren’t getting the better of me, feeding me words that are untrue.

And nope, I don’t need to do any of my life coaching techniques on myself.

Success Coaching

Why am I saying I will never be successful then?

Well, because I am CHOOSING to not be successful.

Successful in the inverted commas sense anyway. “Successful”.


Success as defined in the dictionary: “the attainment of wealth, position, honors, or the like”. Yeah it kind of sounds ok. But…

Success as defined by society: “the need to be a perfect mother, wife, employee, business owner, home maker and every other role out there, at the expense of your own happiness. Oh, and have the perfect body and wardrobe whilst you’re at it”.


No thank you. I don’t want to be successful.

In my self-love online masterclass I talk about how we have to be everything to everyone in order to be considered a success in this world. What a load of rubbish.

I want a life I can feel. I want a life that’s authentic and real.

Those kind of lives have bad times as well as good times. That’s normal!

I hate the pressure of having to be perfect.


I’m redefining success.

Success can mean anything YOU want it to mean.

The old version of success means people tell themselves they’re never good enough, they judge themselves on other people’s standards and are constantly comparing. And guess what? They’re never as “successful” as someone else. There’s always someone “better” than them.

By redefining success you can change your expectations and achieve whatever you want success to mean. Happiness and success go hand in hand don’t they? Well, society’s version doesn’t. Society’s version means we’re stressed out, overwhelmed, burnt out, inauthentic and unhappy, constantly striving to be something we’re not.

This weekend my in laws came to visit. I was working all weekend and normally I would feel the need to clean my whole house, put all the washing away, make their bedroom lovely and have baked cakes ready. Not because they put that pressure on me (at all), but because I put that pressure on myself. I was working all weekend, the stuff I wanted to do, didn’t happen. And you know what? I’m completely ok with it. It has absolutely no impact on my happiness (or my in-laws happiness) because I’m not letting it.

Life Pressures

Sometimes life happens and we can’t get to the gym (like me missing my yoga class this week), am I beating myself up about it? No way.

Sometimes we have bad hair days, sometimes we run late, sometimes we leave the washing up for days, sometimes we fail to hit our work targets, sometimes we have arguments, sometimes the kids go out the house with their pyjamas on, sometimes we don’t do the laundry because we can’t be bothered. And yes IT’S OK.

Take the pressure off yourself. Let success have a definition that works for you, not the over-complicated, unrealistic, ridiculous definition society gives it.


What does success mean to you? I’d love to hear your answers in the comments.

And if you want some help figuring out what success means, or how you can be your own version of successful then life coaching could really help you, so get in touch.

4 Responsesso far.

  1. Geni wolton says:

    Success is being who you are and doing what you feel needs to be done in the moment . I feel alright if I have given what I can and been fully present.

  2. Debra Chalmers says:

    This is a great post. It’s very timely for me. I think from a young age we are conditioned by how society defines success. I also think sometimes we try to have it all when it’s not possible. Thanks for the post.

    • Hayley Gillard says:

      You’re right! We get success rammed down our throats! Success can mean anything you want it to mean, and your definition will be possible because it’s yours. Sending you love xx

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